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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27649282">The Nights Are Stronger Than Moonshine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Proskenion/pseuds/Proskenion'>Proskenion</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Veronica Mars (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Child Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Loneliness, Physical Abuse, Reader-Insert, Separations</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:20:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,028</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27649282</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Proskenion/pseuds/Proskenion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i> "Do you skateboard?" </i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <i>You glanced at your skate attached behind your backpack automatically. </i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>"Yeah." </i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>"Cool," Duncan said with a smile.</i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>"And do you surf?" That was Logan asking. You looked at him for half a minute before answering: </i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>"Yeah, a little." </i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>Logan smirked. </i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>"Meet us at the beach after school, then," he said. </i></p><p> </p><p><i>This was how it all started. </i> </p><p>Reader's life at Neptune's.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Logan Echolls &amp; Duncan Kane, Logan Echolls/Lilly Kane, Logan Echolls/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Nights Are Stronger Than Moonshine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi again ! </p><p>I wrote this a while ago and did not really felt comfortable posting it? I think? Anyway, I know it's been a while... I really hope you like it ! </p><p>Logan is so important to me, and I'm always coming back to him, needing more of him... so that's of course mainly self-fulfilling but hey, that's also what fics are fir right? Really hope you'll love it :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You arrived at Neptune in spring, during last year of elementary school. Your dad had gone forever into another world, behind the veil, leaving you behind an orphan - quite literally. Your mother, with whom you were going to live now, going all down from San Diego to Neptune, never really counted like an actual parent. She was some kind of business woman, though you never knew in what field exactly and never bothered to find out - she had left almost immediately after giving birth to you, manifesting only at Christmas via a postcard. You used to keep them all, and then one day when you realised that postcards weren't what a real mum looks like and you threw them all away. </p><p>You met Logan at school. No, you met <i>Duncan</i> at school, but meeting Duncan meant meeting Logan since the two of them were always glued to each other like a magnet on a fridge. </p><p>"Hi." </p><p>Duncan was standing in front of you, smiling. Behind him was Logan, watching silently, almost disapprovingly. You were sitting alone, eating a cheap industrial sandwich your mother had bought on the way to school because she had forgotten about your lunch. It was your first day at school so she had drove you in the morning, but it would the first and last time she ever did it. </p><p>"Hi," you replied, mouth full. </p><p>"Er, I'm Duncan Kane, and this is Logan Echolls." Duncan pointed at Logan behind him with his thumb. Logan nodded once in acknowledgement. You did not. "Well," Duncan went on, "I thou - <i>we</i> thought that since you're new, you might want some, well, people to show you around or..." </p><p>You watched those two boys, the talkative, way too nice one and the gloomy, slightly disdainful one behind, and said nothing. Not that you were shy or anything, just maybe a bit distrustful. First, because of the way Logan looked at you. Then, because you did not expect anyone to come to you on your first day at a new school just weeks before summer vacations and basically ask to be your friend. That did not seem right. </p><p>"Come on, man, she doesn't want to talk to you." Logan said, already turning around to leave. But Duncan asked, pointing your backpack: </p><p>"Do you skateboard?" </p><p>You glanced at your skate attached behind your backpack automatically. </p><p>"Yeah." </p><p>"Cool," Duncan said with a smile.</p><p>"And do you surf?" That was Logan asking. You looked at him for half a minute before answering: </p><p>"Yeah, a little." </p><p>Logan smirked. </p><p>"Meet us at the beach after school, then," he said. </p><p>This was how it all started. </p><p>You didn't know what to expect at the beach, but you certainly didn't expect the mothers to be there. Duncan's and Logan's, and the ones of the other couple of friends the boys had brought. You looked at those women, wearing bikinis and light sun-dresses and your own mom's absence felt crueller than usual. </p><p>"Oh, and who might that be?" One of the moms asked when she saw you. </p><p>You gave her your name, explained you just arrived. You gave them your mother's name and you could tell it rang a bell. They knew her, but they didn't know she had a daughter. It didn't surprise you, she was barely aware she had a daughter herself. </p><p>You didn't have your own surf, so Duncan shared his with you. But you weren't much interested in surfing anymore. Your eyes kept going back to the women lying down on the sand, chating. The <i>mothers</i>. Their presence felt like a whole inside of you. </p><p>You never knew why your mom kept you. She left almost immediately after giving birth, so it had always been clear to you that she never wanted you. And for all you know, your dad and her broke up at the very beginning of her pregnancy. Once you asked your dad why you were there, why they kept you anyway. </p><p>"I wanted you," had been his answer. </p><p>So you watched the moms, while the boys were surfing. They were trying to get your attention, but your attention was fully elsewhere. </p><p>"Hey! If we bore you, you can always leave!" </p><p>It was Logan. You turned to him. There was something harsh in his eyes that made you feel ill-at-ease and angry. You did not reply and turned your attention to the mothers again. Behind you, you heard him swear. No matter how hard you kept trying, you could not ignore the boys any longer after that. Their laughter grew stronger in your ears, their voices surrounding you. And then something stroke you. The mothers on the beach, they did not look at them, at <i>you</i>. They did not care. At that moment one of the boys called for his mom. She looked at him, hiding her annoyance badly, and forced a smile. You turned to Logan again. He was staring at you. </p><p>After that day the boys became your friends. Sort of. It still felt odd, at first. The friendship, the real one, took it's time to grow. You went back surfing with the boys. Duncan landed you an old surfboard of his, and with them you actually learned how to surf. You spent almost all summer at the beach with them. And when surfboarding was over, you went back home skateboarding. All in all, you had a pretty good summer, going wherever you wanted and hanging out with Duncan and Logan. One of the advantage of having a careless mother is that you could go free all day, and sometimes even late at night, without her noticing. </p><p>You met Duncan's sister, Lily. She was one year older than you and you thought she was tremendous, because she was so pretty and daring. You also met Veronica. You spent some good time with them, but nothing compared to skateboarding alone or going to the beach with the boys. But when you all hang out together, Lily, Duncan, Veronica, Logan and you at the Kanes, that was real fun. Logan had a big sister too, who had just finished high school. But the way he talked about her implied they were not really getting along. Actually, Logan had a way of talking about his family, or rather avoid talking about his family, that made it clear it wasn't a happy topic to discuss. You knew how it felt, and you learned to read through his cheerful mask or aggressive behaviour. He was in pain, just like you. </p><p>One day, after spending the whole afternoon playing in the Kane's pool, Logan and you walked home together. Well, you skateboarded home, and he walked beside you. He had insisted to come with you. It was your first time alone, just the two of you. You did not say much, but something happened between half-confessions and silly jokes. Without really saying it, still keeping your secrets, you bonded over unreliable parents. You would spend more and more time alone together after that. </p><p>Because Logan and Duncan were a pair that couldn't be parted, it soon became the three of you, and though you knew the bond there were between the two of them was special, stronger because older, they still were your best friends in Neptune. And the fact that you were more interested in surfing and videogames than make-up and magazines definitely helped. However, spending time with Lily and Veronica and inventing pranks to trick the boys was also a great deal of fun. When school started back after summer, you did not feel that bad anymore, and even if you missed your dad a lot and your mother was as careless as ever, it was quite fine because you had found another kind of family. </p><p>At first you had wondered why your mother would settle in such a town as Neptune, when she could have worked in LA or something. Then you realised it was because in Neptune she could have a ludicrously huge house with so many rooms that you could spend days inside without seeing each others, a garden the size of a castle park, and a swimming pool looking like a lake. The more time went by, the more your mother was away, living you alone in that ultra modern castle, so it quickly become the new headquarter of your little gang. Time went on, months passed, and you were growing more and more attached to the boys, and less and less bothered by your careless mom. At some point you settled down in the pool house, which was big enough to shelter a whole family, without your mother noticing or caring. You lived on your own, which meant freedom. Sometimes at weekends Logan and Duncan would come over. The three of you spent the night playing videogames and cards. They taught you how to play poker. </p><p>You knew something wrong was going on with Logan's dad at the way his face darkened when mentioning him. You had the first hint of the abuse when you were 12. The three of you were at Logan's. You had made a slingshot and were now competing on who would shot the farthest. Showing off, as he often did, Logan pretended to shoot a stone all the way from the pool to the estate gate. The stone flew high but went down too early - right on Aaron's car. It hit the windshield, leaving a huge crack that ran all the way from the hit to the other side of the glass. Logan froze instantly and paled. You knew there was something rather fishy when Duncun ran to him and muttered: </p><p>"Don't worry, I'll say it's me, don't worry." </p><p>You frowned but didn't get the chance to ask anything, for Logan's dad's voice resonated like thunder, making all of you jump. You caught Duncan quickly taking the slingshot from Logan's hands. </p><p>"Goddamm it, you son of a..." </p><p>Aaron interrupted himself when he saw you. He looked at the three of you with a deadly glare. Duncan stepped ahead and said: </p><p>"It's my fault Mr Echolls, I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention." </p><p>Aaron's jaw tensed and he pinched his lips. Next to you, you felt Logan flinch. Aaron let out a deep, irritated sigh and closed his eyes, af if trying to calm down. When he opened them again, he said: </p><p>"Alright, I'll deal with it with Jake. Now, kids, go play somewhere else." </p><p>You could feel the electricity in the air as Logan's dad walked away. You glanced at Logan and noticed he was breathing heavily, eyes looking down. </p><p>"Come on, let's go to my place," you said as cheerfully as you could. </p><p>Not long after you arrived and settled in your pool house, Duncan's dad arrived to bring him home. He looked angry and scolded Duncan about Aaron's car. Duncan apologised and jumped inside Jake's car. You wondered why Duncan would rather take the blame and take the risk to be grounded. When you asked Logan, he answered angrily: </p><p>"None of your goddamn business." </p><p>You didn't put the subject any further. You knew what it was like to keep secrets. But you couldn't help thinking this one was too serious to be kept, so you asked Duncan afterwards. He said it was not for him to tell you. </p><p>You became more careful after that, watching for signs, for answers. You noticed the way Logan got scared of his dad sometimes, him who was usually the less easily scared of you three. You realised how sometimes he was fidgety and did not want to be touched. You saw how he came wounded at school, pretending to have fallen down the stairs or other excuses like this. So, one night that it was just the two of you playing on your playstation in your pool house, you asked out of the blue: </p><p>"He beats you, doesn't he?" </p><p>The way Logan looked down and his jaw tensed said it all. He nodded slowly, and you hugged him. You did not know what else to do. You were just a child, after all. </p><p>After that, Logan would sneak into your pool house sometimes at night, when things got mad at his place. Your houses weren't that far away from one another and it was an easy walk. This strengthened the bond between the two of you even more. </p><p>You actually witnessed the abuse not long after your fourteenth birthday. You went at Logan's for a movie night and you fell asleep in his bed in the middle of the third film. You weren't to spend the night there but your mother, as always, did not care to look for you, and probably did not even noticed you weren't home. In the morning you woke up alone in Logan's room. You stood up and walked to the bathroom to freshen up a bit before going down. That's when you heard them. The voices. You walked to the door and pushed it open, ever so slightly. The voices were coming from down stairs, and they definitely belong to Logan and Aaron. You listened carefully. </p><p>"... the fuck away from me!" </p><p>That was Logan. Just after that there was a crash, and Aaron's voice rose, loud and dangerous: </p><p>"How dare you? No, you come back here!" </p><p>You heard rushing footsteps, then a strangled cry as the footsteps stopped, quickly followed by a thump. </p><p>"Did you really think I would let you throw a tantrum and just ran off?" </p><p>You had never heard Aaron talk like that before, he sounded so cruel and kind of crazy - but what really struck you right in the guts was Logan's voice when he said: </p><p>"Dad, stop, you're hurting me... stop!" </p><p>"I bet I am," Aaron replied, sounding rather happy about it. </p><p>You did not really think but rather acted on instinct. You knew you had to do something to stop what was happening, so you did the first thing that came to your mind. You stormed out of the room, calling: </p><p>"LOOOGAN! Where are you, man? Thanks for leaving me on my own!" </p><p>You rushed down the stairs, hoping you sounded joyful and casual. When you arrived downstairs you pretended to be surprised and embarrassed to meet Aaron, hoping it would be convincing enough. </p><p>"Oh, Aaron, I didn't know you were here .." </p><p>You realised at that moment you were just wearing one of Logan's t-shirts over your panties, and your embarrassment immediately turned real. You stopped talking and blushed. </p><p>Both Aaron and Logan were standing in front of you and it would have all seemed perfectly normal if it wasn't for Logan massaging his left arm and the remaining of a broken porcelain jar behind them. Aaron chuckled awkwardly. </p><p>"Well, I didn't know you were here either," he said with a smile. "I... Are you two... well, whatever. Sorry, I'll leave you alone." And he added, while rushing away in direction of the large glass doors leading to the pool, "I've made pancakes."</p><p>You weren't sure you heard it right at first. Pancakes? You nearly ran into him abusing his son and he was casually talking to you about <i>pancakes</i> ? You watched him leave, bewildered and slightly disgusted and scared. Then you turned to Logan. </p><p>"Are you hurt?" </p><p>"I'm fine." </p><p>"What happened?" </p><p>"Nothing." </p><p>"Logan, I heard..." </p><p>"You heard nothing," he cut you short with widened eyes. </p><p>Then he caught you by your arm and pulled you upstairs. When inside his room, he let you go and closed the door. </p><p>"You can't let him know you know," he said in a low voice. "He'll go ballistic." </p><p>"What? What will he do?" </p><p>"I don't know!" Logan answered, clearly annoyed. "But you don't want to find out, believe me." </p><p>"Fine," you replied, putting that subject aside. "Now will you tell me what happened?" </p><p>"Nothing."</p><p>You rolled up your eyes. It was your turn to be annoyed now.</p><p>"Don't tell me nothing happened, I heard things." </p><p>"Oh and what did you hear exactly?" Logan asked abruptly. </p><p>You took a deep sigh to calm you down. You said, as calm as possible: </p><p>"Listen, I don't want to argue with you. I just want to help." </p><p>Logan chuckled, then mumbled angrily he did not need any help because he was fine. You crossed your arms and looked straight at his face. </p><p>"Logan, I'm telling you I've heard. I've heard your dad shout and I heard you say..." </p><p>You stopped, hesitating. Logan glanced at you, but he said nothing.</p><p>"I heard you say he was hurting you," you finally said in a low voice. </p><p>Logan did not answer and you suddenly felt stupid. It wasn't like there was anything new. Of course he was hurting him, that wouldn't be the first time - and, unfortunately, not the last either. But the difference was that this time, you were there. </p><p>"I'm sorry," you finally declare. "I can see you're upset." </p><p>Logan sat on his bed and took his head in his hands. In time like that you would usually come and sit next to him but this time you didn't move. You felt like he needed space. After a long silence, Logan sighed and said, his voice almost a whisper: </p><p>"You know my mom is at some spa vacations with friends or whatever. Well, this morning when I woke up and went downstairs I... saw my dad, with another woman. She was leaving but I saw them kiss and anyway what a <i>woman</i> would be doing with him at night if not..." </p><p>He stopped, unable to go on. You thought that <i>you</i> just spent the night wih him and that it wasn't <i>like that</i> even though you were technically a woman, but you didn't say anything - that was the last thing Logan wanted to hear right now. He went on: </p><p>"I started yelling at him and we argued and he was basically twisting my arm behind my back when you called me. Happy?" </p><p>"No, Logan. I'm not happy." </p><p>You said that in a firm though soft voice. This time you went to sit next to him on the bed. </p><p>"There is nothing about this story that could make me happy. Because it means you're hurt and miserable." </p><p>Logan looked at you. He was grinning. </p><p>"Don't make me sound like the frightened princess in a tower, please, it's not very sexy." </p><p>You laughed. That was Logan, using humour and sarcasm to throw the pain away. </p><p>"Yeah, a good dose of sexism, that's what we need right now," you teased.</p><p>It was his time to laugh, and the sincerity of it warmed you heart.</p><p>"What about we dress up and go have breakfast in town?" You offered, standing up. "Like, a very healthy breakfast made of ice creams and milkshakes and the like. What do you say?" </p><p>"I say I'm in!" </p><p>None of you mentioned that episode again. </p><p>Lily started to turn around Logan a lot, all flirty and seductive and without you knowing why you felt deeply annoyed by it. Was it because of that or not, you and Lily grew less close and consequently the same thing happened with Veronica. You didn't realise what was happening at first. Then Lily went to high school and everything changed. She started dating Logan, and not long after that Veronica and Duncan started dating too. You watched as the four of them walked a little bit more away from you. </p><p>You pretended you didn't care. You had more time to practice skateboarding alone, listening to rock music. And you still saw the boys at the beach when you went surfing. Although, it wasn't quite the same. </p><p>Logan kept sneaking in your house at night at times, though that changed too. He came less often, and it felt like you couldn't talk the same way anymore. This was what saddened you the most. </p><p>Then Lily got murdered and everything fell apart. Everyone was shocked, you and your friends - there were still your friends, right ? - even more. Logan became reckless, Duncan became careless and Veronica, friendless. It hurt you to see Veronica more and more isolated, but you couldn't find the strength in you to stand against the others for her. You let her go. </p><p>That summer was weird. Duncan, Logan and you kept surfing together, often joined by Dick Casablanca. Him and Logan seemed to have become great friends, though you couldn't tell when this had happened. Dick wasn't a bad guy but when Logan was near him he really behaved like a jerk so you resented Dick for it. Logan had always been a bit of a carefree idiot, but during those weeks of summer break you watched him turn into a complete jackass. And Duncan? Duncan wasn't here anymore, nothing could make him connect and he cared about nothing at all anymore. Where were your boys gone? </p><p>When school started again, you noticed how Veronica had changed during summer. This time you wanted to be brave so you went to see her, you tried to reach out, but she made it clear she didn't want to have anything to do with you or anyone of your friends. At that exact moment you realised nothing would ever be the same as it used to and that you had been a fool to think otherwise. </p><p>As months went on you were left more and more alone. Logan stopped coming at your place, Duncan stopped talking, and you stopped surfing because it didn't felt right anymore. So when not at school you were either skating outside untill sundown or at home, reading comics or drawing while listening to music. You got used to it quickly, too quickly. But you were too used to abandon now to really care. </p><p>One night though you heard a knock on your window. You stood up from your bed and went to open it. Logan came in as he had done so many times before, and for one brief moment it felt like nothing had changed. Except everything had changed.</p><p>"I'm in deep shit," he said while looking at his feet.</p><p>"Why? What happened?" </p><p>"Don't ask." </p><p>You frowned. Logan stood there awkwardly just like if he had never come in your room through your window before and did not know what to do. It upset you. </p><p>"You're telling me what happened right now or I'm not helping you." </p><p>Logan gave you a hard look that immediately made you regret your words. He turned and made a move to leave but you caught his arm firmly.</p><p>"No, stay," you said. "It's just... when did you stop trusting me? I thought we were friends." </p><p>A sad chuckle escaped his lips. He wasn't looking at you and you had nothing but his back to look at. You heard him say: </p><p>"You're too good to be my friend." </p><p>This made your heart jump in your throat. He had said it so matter-of-factly, as if it was a simple truth no one could refute. You don't know what got into you then. Surely was it the pain that made your body act on instinct. You drew him to you and kissed him full on the lips. </p><p>His lips felt soft on yours and, you realised, for the first time in months life felt right again. Then your lips parted and Logan looked at you with eyes like bowling balls. You blushed, chuckled, looked down. You wanted to run away but your arms stubbornly stayed around Logan's shoulders. Then Logan snuggled against you and wrapped you in his arms. </p><p>You stumbled to your bed without letting go of each other. It was all kisses and sweet touches, and quickly Logan fell asleep. When you woke up in the morning you expected him to be next to you, but he was gone. You had no idea when he left for you had been sound asleep, certain he was right beside you. You felt a stingy feeling in your chest. </p><p>At school Logan ignored you. Actually he avoided everyone's company and you thought he was looking kinda gloomy. You heard rumours about videos of homeless people boxing. Dick seemed really amused by it so you went to find him. You regretted it almost immediately. </p><p>"You did what?" You spat out, disgusted. </p><p>"Look, I said what I said," Dick answered with no hint of remorse. "It's on the web and all, you're probably the only one left in Neptune who hasn't seen it yet. </p><p>It made you feel sick. Logan, <i>your</i> Logan, would never have done something this repulsive... wouldn't he? You resisted the temptation to go and look for the videos. You kind of stayed alone brooding until you left school. You noticed on the parking lot that Logan was leaving in his father's car. It made you feel sicker, and you remembered the night before. </p><p>You were falling asleep when you heard the knocking on your window. You waited the second knock to get up. You let Logan in without a word. He walked in and sat on your bed. You watched, arms crossed. You waited for him to talk first. There was too many things that weren't right, too many words he should have said before, too many secrets and unspoken truth. </p><p>"Aren't you going to say something?" he asked eventually. </p><p>"Aren't you?" </p><p>He sighed. He stood up and took of his t-shirt. </p><p>"What are you..." </p><p>Your words got lost and stuck in a gasp when he turned to show you his back. For a while you were speechless, staring at the bruises and welts of the belt. Something had gone really wrong with his father today- you had not often seen Logan in such a state before. Aaron was usually careful not to leave too many marks - too many proofs. </p><p>Logan sat on your bed again and buried his face in his hands. You knelt in front of him and put your hands on his arms. You waited. He started talking, and soon the words came out of his mouth like a flooding river, unable to stop. He told you about the videos, this stupid thing he did with Dick, he told you about what he said in front of the camera just to embarrass his father, he told you about the thrashing when they got back home. At that moment he started to cry, and once the tears had come they could not stop, joining the wild flow of his voice, and he kept talking, he said how angry and hurt he was, how the world seemed too small and always closing in on him and shrinking on itself so he would suffocate, how nothing had the right taste or the right colour anymore, how lonely and abandoned he felt. You listened until he had nothing left to say and then you welcomed him into your arms until he had no more tears to shed. After that you took care of all the wounds and bruises and you lay him down on your bed. You stroke his hair until he finally fell asleep. </p><p>After that Logan came knocking on your window every night. He kissed you first this time. It was only kissing and cuddling, and only when you two were alone in your room. It was sweet. It quickly became necessary for both of you. </p><p>It went down like that until Christmas. Your mum came back just in time for the Echolls Christmas party. She came home with some big news. But the party turned like a bad romantic spy movie when one of Aaron's former lover stabbed him with a screwdriver and you didn't get the chance to tell Logan. </p><p>"You what?" he asked, bewildered, a week after Christmas.</p><p>"I'm leaving. My mom got promoted. We leave tomorrow." </p><p>He stayed silent way too long and it started to make you feel uncomfortable. He stood up from your bed, or rather jumped up and started roaming in your room. When he spoke you were sure he was going to yell at you. Instead he whispered in a half-broken voice: </p><p>"Do you really have to?" </p><p>"She leaves me no choice. I'm following her, rather I like it or not." </p><p>This time Logan's anger burst out. He punched one of the wall so hard his knuckles got all bloody. It made you jump in a gasp. </p><p>"That's unfair ! <i>Unfair</i> !" </p><p>He was shouting while punching the wall again with both his fists and his voice was dangerously breaking. You ran to him and hugged him as tight as possible, pressing yourself against his back. You didn't let go, begging him in a whisper to calm down. He stopped. He was leaning against the wall, breathless. The silence fell, a cloak or a shroud. Then you heard it, so low you first wondered if you hadn't dreamt it. Then he said it again. </p><p>"I love you. Please, don't go. I love you." </p><p>You started crying, holding him like he was your only shield left against death. You had been yearning for those words for so long without even knowing it, and now that they were said to you, beautiful and raw in their simple truth, you had to say goodbye to them. </p><p>Logan turned around to hug you back. He kept repeating your name until you calmed down. Then you said it too. </p><p>"I love you. I love you. I love you." </p><p>You couldn't stop yourself now, those were the only three words you knew. I love you. <i>I love you.</i> </p><p>"I love you." </p><p>Even when Logan kissed you greedily you didn't stop saying it. Even when you kissed him back, putting your arms around his neck. Even when you jumped for him to catch you in his arms. Even when you both fell on your bed with your limbs all tangled up together. </p><p>It was more than just kisses and soft touches. It was huge, and desperate, and beautiful. It felt like dying and being born again all at once. It felt like losing your sense of self completely while never being more sure of who you were. It was strong, and sweet, and obvious. It felt like your last night on earth. </p><p>And, after all, maybe it was...</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading darlings! Drop a comment, it always makes me happy :) &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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